Tired of fighting

Kinshasa, December 2019 "She said she's tired of fighting, that she's just waiting for her time to come." I listen as mum retells her recent conversation with grandma. It's not that it bothers grandma to be in confinement. As usual she rarely leaves the compound and the house which was built by Paul, her deceased …

Love and surrender in a time of crisis

I've been hesitating to share this with others but as I keep discovering more of my journey I feel this "secret" is holding me back from being more open. I'm still not ready to reveal all the details but this is what I'd like to share with you. I know that many will discard this …

Disorders and vulnerability

So my exhibitionist me started blogging again. I have a very strange time perspective- either too slow or too fast. I bought the domain for this blog over a year ago thinking I would start posting right away but here we are, almost 1,5 years later. And I also started therapy- again. I'm crashing. The …

To my inner child.

These past weeks have been hell and it doesn't seem to end. Every time I think that I've hit rock bottom the ground under me perversely dissolves like quicksand. Any sudden change in pressure causes a shock in my body and mind and I sink even deeper. Sometimes, as I in panic grasp for air …